Day 12

Something you want to say to an ex OR something you don't leave the house without.

Gee, I think I am going to go with what I don't leave the house without. ;)

My phone! And actually, I have left the house without it twice in the last three times I have left the house. I really hate getting old.

On to another topic again. Something was brought to my attention recently and it sturred up emotions in me that I just want to go away.

I was just bashed by some people that I once called friends. I don't really care that the one person did it. I was really good friends with her, in fact I would have called her my best friend, but that is no longer the case. I don't know what it means that I don't care at all about what she said. I am hoping that it is because in this instance I know she didn't bring it up, though I am certain this was not always the case. What does bother me is the other person, the one who brought it back up.

She doesn't even know the meaning of being a friend. So what I think upsets me about this is that she has stabbed the other person in the back, pretty badly too, and yet, this is where we are today. She is now acting immature again and taking my old friend for the ride. Come on.

I was once told, "I will be friends with her but I will never trust her." That says a lot about the person who said that, that she can forgive in that way, but at the same time, what kind of friendship is that?

What happened last year apparently still bothers me. And why it happened is still completely ridiculous. COMPLETELY!

It is no secret that last school year was horrible for me. I had a rough time with the new PTA at the kids new school, in fact, there were a few times that I would be at home crying over something that happened. Luckily I had friends that I could call and vent about it to. It is also no secret that I am very sensitive about the bashing of my religion. Bashing, insensitive comments, or just plain ignorance of it. So, when you mix these two scenarios together it will not be pretty.

How did a friendship dissolve? Over those two scenarios crashing together. This person asked what to wear to a funeral. Innocent enough. I know. But when you add that together to this same person bashing my religion in the past, and me being in the middle of planning a carnival, the day or two before said carnival, I took it badly. I admit, I was wrong. I can be a smartass, and I was. That didn't upset me though. What upset me was that my friend, who is very intelligent, and never once bashed me or my religion, in my opinion, did just that with this other person. She agreed with her. That hurt my feelings.

Now, another fact about me, I generally get over things, BUT, you must give me time to do that. I was hurt, big time. My friend didn't understand why, and I never gave her the opportunity to understand why, I just needed to be left alone. No problem right? It is when the other person can't leave things alone. She fights things head on and won't stop fighting for what she believes until its resolved. I kind of envied her over that trait. But I didn't when I needed the space. Hence, the ending of a friendship.

Since this has happened I have reached out to her twice, not expecting to be friends again, but just to be nice. I had something of her mothers that since I was no longer using I gave back to her. Yes, I made sure I gave it back to her when I knew she wasn't home, but still, not even a thank you. I also congratulated her on an article she wrote that was published. That is pretty awesome, but again, no response. That did tell me something, I'm not dumb.

Every story has two sides. And I am sure if she could tell her side it would be different and that's ok. I did not say I was perfect in what happened, in fact, I know I am to blame, but in my defense, I did say I needed time. We are just two completely different people that deal with things two opposite ways and that will eventually become an issue.

I don't know what's worse, that this is happening again, or that it bothers me again. Right wrongs, heal relationships. Are you really willing to do that? Life really is too short.

Ok, I'm done with this drama...I hope.